Red Faction : Guerrilla (Game Review)

While I haven't played any of the other games in the Red Faction franchise, I have played Red Faction : Guerrilla quite extensively. So extensively that I'm confident to say that Red Faction : Guerrilla isn't just an ordinary game; it's a great openworld sandbox game with an amazing physics engine, and it's one hell of a stress reliever. Seriously, it's practically therapeutic. Forget the characters and the plot; your main focus when playing this game is tearing down buildings. You can destroy practically anything in this game aside from the natural landscape. Buildings, walls, bridges, they're all just randomly scattered toys for you to smash with your trusty sledgehammer.

But yes, let's get the plot out of the way real quick so we can dive right into the demolition. You play as Alec Mason (a name I kept getting confused with Alex Mercer, the protagonist of Prototype), a miner who came up to Mars to make a living. Since Earth was running out of natural resources and Mars was being terraformed by the Earth Defense Force (EDF), this was a great opportunity for Alec to leave Earth for a new life and be a part of something big. However, it turns out that the EDF isn't as friendly as they project themselves, and are actually just another corrupt and oppressive organization. One thing leads to another, and Alec joins up with the rebellion force known as the Red Faction. He starts out small by irritating the EDF by destroying supply convoys, but quickly moves up by liberating parts of Mars from their oppressive control and eventually leading an entire uprising against the EDF.

Welcome to Mars! You'll be hearing a lot of Total Recall references throughout this review!

All caught up on the story? Good! Now we can finally discuss the fun parts of the game; complete and total destruction of anything that dares stand in your way! This game, even though it's almost three years old, has some of the most impressive destructive physics engine I've ever seen in a video game. The only game that even comes close is Mercenaries 2 : World in Flames, but that game had a "health" for each building, and when that was depleted it didn't matter where you hit it, it just collapsed into a pile of rubble. As satisfying as this was (since very few games actually do this...imagine how awesome Saints Row would be if this had been implemented!), Red Faction : Guerrilla takes it to a whole new level. In this game, where you hit the structure plays a huge part in how it collapses. If you take out the entire south support of a building, it slowly teeters over until it completely topples over. As you gradually do damage to a building, the more it will creak and rumble, until you then deliver the final blow or you just sit back and watch it collapse on itself. It's really fun playing with the physics of the game. Take a look at the following screencap of a smokestack polluting the atmosphere with poisonous gasses produced from extensive mining;

"COME ON COHEEGEN, YOU GOT WHAT YOU WA-AUNT! GIVE DESE PEEPLE AI-YUH!!!"

Every building, bridge, walkway and stairs in that screenshot is destroyable. The only thing you can't destroy is the very ground you walk on. Other than that, have fun! A wall preventing you from getting to your destination? Most games will have you look for another way around, but Red Faction : Guerrilla isn't most games. Red Faction : Guerrilla lets you to smash that wall to pieces! Seriously, you can even smash the debris to even smaller pieces, reminding the other walls not to mess with you. Now, I'm sure you're tired of just reading my excited description, so I'll let you see for yourself; your two main tools of destruction would be your sledge hammer and your satchel charges (you get other weapons like pistols and assault rifles, but they do nothing demolition-wise). Let's first have some fun with the satchel charges;

Demolition 101 : Plant explosives near the base of the structure for most damage.

"SEE YOU AT DA PAHTY, RIKTUH!!!"

Planning ahead so the structure won't collapse onto you helps.

"SCREW YOU, BENNY!!!"

HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!?!

And now, the sledgehammer;

"ALEC, SMASH!!!"

"It's like Pac-Man ran through here..."

"CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!!!"

 Now remember that screenshot from earlier, with the smokestack and the buildings and the walls? Well here's the exact same spot on the map after Alec had some fun through the abuse of his excavation tools;

"Considuh dat a divorce!" (Pretending Alec is Arnold Schwarzenegger really adds to the fun factor)

And that's just the first part of the game! As you progress there's more and more parts of Mars for you to destroy liberate, and some of the end-game cities and bases are just pure paradise for people like me who just enjoy messing around in games. The only downside I can think of is that it takes so long for you to get to these awesome parts of the game that getting there can be a bit of a drag, but once you get there it's simply unfiltered joy. The EDF constantly showing up and shooting at you is also a pain, but that's like saying the cops in GTA is a pain; they're a part of the game that honestly, the game wouldn't be the same without them. Besides, you can easily take them out with your sledgehammer and resume your destructive frenzy. 

In conclusion, Red Faction : Guerrilla is a very fun game. There's plenty of fun to be had with the physics, and the developers know that too because aside from the main missions you also get puzzle missions where you're given a certain number of charges / hammer swings and you have to take down without going over that set amount. Liberating the people of Mars and getting involved is the story is okay, but the true star of this game is the demolition. Just go in and tear down a few sky scrapers with a sledgehammer; you won't be disappointed.

AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! for the Awesome (Game Review)

So after an absence of a little over a month, I'm back. So no, I'm not dead (although, how freaky would that have been? Especially since the last thing I reviewed was a book about a world where people knew how they were going to die). A lot of things happened, mainly my work getting busier, but everything's calmed down for the time being so all is well. Back to reviewing stuff!

It's sad that after having typed this review, I can perfectly type out the name of this game without looking up where the A's end and the a's begin.

Now, I know what you're thinking; "'AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!!'? What kind of name is that?". Well I'll tell you; A VERY AWESOME NAME. Seriously, it's genius. It immediately grabs your attention. Some may see that name and think, "Huh...definitely haven't heard of that game before. I wonder what it's about?" while others may think "Wow that sounds stupid. Could you have picked a more annoying name?". Either way, it's got a name that you won't be easily dismissing like you would "Zombie Killer" or "Jewel Quest" or whatever other game unimaginative developers are currently pumping out.

Even the menu is fun. Name the last time you had fun while adjusting the screen resolution. Seriously, I dare you.

So, what's this game about? It's quite simple; you jump off of buildings onto a target on the ground. That's it. The entire game, you just jump off of buildings, fall for a while, try not to die, then stick the landing. However, while it may sound simple and repetitive, it's actually quite addicting. The first time I played this game, I put in 4 hours without even realizing it. While it could be because I may be mentally unwell, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the game is simply fun to play. You base jump from the top of a building and then try to rack up points by flying past other buildings and objects (known as "Kissing"), flying along the wall of other buildings (known as "Hugging"), flying through panes of glass, smashing into birds, and landing in the red target marker (you can still land outside the marker, but you won't get as much points). There're also support beams with people on them. These will either be blue or red; the blue people are basically fans of yours while the reds are protestors who are against base jumping. You can score off of these people by giving a Thumbs-Up to the Blues and Flipping Off the Reds. That's all you need to know about this game; jump from a rooftop, weave around buildings, interact with fans/protestors, and land. I know, I know; it sounds really repetitive and stupid, but trust me on this, it's a lot of fun. 

The game starts out calm and slow, but that won't last long.

Once you clear a stage, you're given a star ranking based on your score (anywhere from 0 to 5 stars), and you're given Teeth based on your rating. These Teeth are the currency in this game, and you use these to unlock more stages. Now here's the best part; you can unlock any stage you want, whenever you want. As long as you have the Teeth for it, you can buy a Beginner stage, then an Expert stage, and then two more Beginners and then an Intermediate one. You can go in any order you want.

FREEDOM!!!

On top of all that, each stage looks different and unique. Some stages may look pretty empty and boring, while some stages look like you've just stumbled into Tron, and then there are nature themed stages, with mountains and streams and moss. However, it doesn't matter how beautiful and amazing these stages are; you'll be too busy trying not to die that you won't notice anything that isn't a brightly colored point-plate.

Even boobs. That's right; this game is so intense that I didn't even notice the billboard of girls in bikinis in this stage until my 10th jump.

 
And that is this game's biggest downfall. This game is beautiful, but the game won't let you enjoy its beauty. If you even try to appreciate the cyber-punk environment, the game punishes you by slamming you face first into the pavement. It's like if your girlfriend tells you that she bought a beautiful dress, but the only way she'll let you see her wearing it is if she stands outside her house and you drive by at 120mph. Also, the street she lives on isn't a through street. 

A pretty accurate representation of what happens to you in the game if you look in any other direction but Down.

So yea, if you plan to enjoy game's environment and all the beauty it has to offer, be prepared to die...and die...and die. Also a low score, since you won't be doing much of Kissing, Hugging, Weaving, Threading or any other stunts required for a higher star rank. You either get a high score and miss all that is beautiful, or you appreciate the finer details and suffer a low score.

Make no mistake, however, this game is a lot of fun. It's fast paced, it's stylish, and it's definitely unique. The bright colors, the catchy soundtrack, the quirky sense of humor; the game's got it all. Lastly, it's quite cheap. At $9.99, this game is practically a steal. Remember what other game cost $9.99 yet offered a fraction of playtime?

I still can't get over how this game costs as much as Hitman : Blood Money.

And hey, seeing as how those games are made by the same developer, you might be able to snag them both (as well as two other games) for the price of one if you're patient enough to wait for a sale on Steam. If not though, then definitely get AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! instead of The Wonderful End of The World. The replay value is exponentially high in comparison, and it can be easy at times, then frustratingly difficult without warning. So if you love a challenge, this game is for you.

......uh......what?

Machine of Death (Book Review)

It's no mystery that, one day, every one of us will die some how. However, most of us don't think about death all that much. Sure, we may jokingly discuss it with a friend if it's brought up during a meal or something, but we generally won't lose sleep worrying about our eventual demise. Part of that could possibly be because we live in such safety and comfort that death just doesn't seem like an immediate possibility to us. Just like many of life's other misfortunes, like being robbed or your car breaking down in the middle of nowhere, these are all things that happen to "someone else", but never you. But what if you knew what fate had in store for you? What if there were a way for you to know exactly how you were going to die? What if there were a machine that gave you a piece of paper with your cause of death printed on it (like a really morbid fortune cookie)? That would change everything. Would you be able to live your life the way you are living it right now? If you knew you were going to die from "Heart Failure" , you'd probably exercise more and avoid eating food that's high in fat. If you knew you were going to die in a "Plane Crash", you'd probably never fly again. You would do everything you can to stave off Death as long as possible. Suddenly your life is governed entirely based on what a tiny piece of paper says. You're constantly on your toes, losing sleep and slowly slipping into insanity. Why did you have to know? If only you could go back to not knowing!

That's one of the many themes present in the book, Machine of Death.  Compiled of 33 short stories all written by different writers, Machine of Death is definitely one of the most interesting books I've ever read. These stories all take place in a world very similar to ours except for one thing; there exists a machine that can tell you your cause of death by taking a quick blood sample from you, and it's always accurate. Try as you may to cheat destiny and stave off death, eventually you will die the death the machine predicted. If your paper says "Plane Crash" and you decide to never set foot onto an aircraft for the rest of your life, that doesn't mean you've successfully outsmarted death. You could still be crushed by an airplane crashing into your house as you sleep at night. It's these morbid twists of irony that constantly keeps both the characters and the readers on their toes. There's one person in the book whose paper says "Joy" and so he assumes he would die from a heart attack after finding out he'd won the lottery or something. In a strange sort of way, he was looking forward to his death. Dying from Joy doesn't sound too bad, after all. Definitely better than what his coworkers got ("Overdose" and "Government"). However, it turns out that he dies by getting run over by a car...driven by a woman named Joy.

I know that this must sound like a really morbid book, and while I do admit it can be pretty heavy at times, the book is more than just people dying a predicted death. It honestly could've been left at that, and it still would've been an interesting read (like a novelized version of the Final Destination movies, I guess?). However, the writers go much deeper. We're not just given a bunch of random people who we follow around wondering how their prediction is going to come true. Instead, we're given an actual world; a world where a machine can tell you how you die. These short stories, some as short as literally a single sentence, all do an amazing job of painting a large picture of a world where people are going insane over a piece of paper. There are high schools where the cliques of students are based on not by their hobbies, taste in music or the clothes they wear, but instead, by the cause of their deaths. There are protestors and religious groups who are against the machine and its predictions, saying it's immoral. There are dating services where people wear their cause of deaths as a name tag and meet other people who would meet similar demises. There are support groups for people whose cards say "Suicide". There are also political issues present, like should you be required to register yourself with the police if your card says "Shoot Out"? If your prediction is "Car Accident", would any insurance company take you on? Should companies be allowed to take in your cause of death as a factor when interviewing you? If your card says "Child Birth" and you're already three months pregnant, what do you do? All these are actual problems present in these stories, and there are plenty more. It really does get you thinking, and it's really hard to imagine that all this started from one random webcomic from a few years back;

For more, check out Dinosaur Comics by Ryan North (http://www.qwantz.com/index.php)

If any of this interests you in the slightest, I have wonderful news for you; you can read the entire book absolutely free! Seriously, how awesome are these people? They put together an amazing book and then offer it up for free. I bought an electronic copy, and I definitely recommend you do as well (they need the support; they're putting together a second book after all), but if you're still not sure if you want to or not, check out the free version and decide for yourself;

Machine of Death

These are all short stories not connected to each other in any way, so you can start from page one and keep going from there, or you can pick a random story and jump around. My personal favorites are "Almond" and "Firing Squad". There's also a story by one of my favorite writers, Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, which I won't reveal the title to here. What I will tell you is that the title is just so hilariously outrageous and comes completely out of the blue. It doesn't match the tone of the other stories at all, and it just screams "Yahtzee". I actually did a double take when I saw it in the table of contents. So yea, that was awesome.

In conclusion, Machine of Death is an amazing book that a wide range of audiences can enjoy. It's smart, it's witty, and it's funny. Best of all, it's free, so what have you got to lose? Check it out, and I promise it won't disappoint.

The Wonderful End of the World (Game Review)

Like most of the games in my Steam library (as well as most of the games I'll probably be reviewing here), The Wonderful End of The World is one of those random games that I bought on a whim during one of their seasonal sales and completely forgot about (I tend to do that a lot). Anyway, if you know me then you will know that I love games with silly art styles, and this game had just that. I still had no idea what the game would be about, but I went ahead and purchased the game anyway (Steam sales will do that to you). It was actually part of a bundle pack that included four other games from the same developer and it was on sale, so it seemed like a pretty good deal.

Yes, one of their games is actually called "AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! for the Awesome". And yes, it's just as insane and awesome as it sounds.

Anyways, what is the "End of the World" that this game speaks of, and why is it so wonderful? I have no idea. Seriously, it's never mentioned in the game. It's actually mentioned in the game description in the Steam store, but not in the actual game. That's kind of silly, but it's really no big deal. The basic gist of it is that the world is in danger of being devoured by a mythological demon with the head of a fish, and you play as a magical being of pure energy whose job is to save whatever you can from the world before it's eventually consumed (again, none of this is ever mentioned in the game).

Our protagonist, ladies and gentlemen.

So there we go. You're a being of energy who has to run around and absorb whatever you can into your body before the time limit. Sound familiar? Collecting objects by running into them? Take a look at the screenshot above. If you need additional help jogging your memory, here's another one;

It feels so familiar...

Yea, it's a Katamari Damacy ripoff. Seriously, it's the exact same game. It doesn't even try to do anything new; you run around the level collecting smaller items like books and spoons in order to increase your size so you can run into and collect bigger items like chairs and tables. Repeat that process until the timer runs out in each level, then do that twelve more times, and that's The Wonderful End of The World for you.

You read that right; there's only twelve levels in this game.

At first, I was ready to stop playing after the first two levels. It's just a Katamari ripoff, after all. But then, I played another level. And then another. And then another. Yea, it's a Katamari ripoff, but at least it's a good Katamari ripoff. That rush of adrenaline you get during those last ten seconds was a key part of Katamari, and it's present in this game as well. Also a huge plus is the fact that the twelve stages are all different from one another, and the music is pretty catchy as well. The stages are a little smaller compared to Katamari, but it's still pretty fun racing the clock, trying to collect everything in the level before the time runs out.

Though I may come off as being pretentious, this level is one of my personal favorite, a "surrealist library where the words have literally leapt out of their books".

Now, while I did enjoy the game, I can't deny the fact that it was also a relatively short one. You can play the game from start to finish in no less than an hour, and if for some reason you don't get an A+ on some of the levels, there's probably another 30minutes going back to those levels and perfecting them, and another 30minutes if you're going for all the achievements. So yea, even at most, this game takes only two hours to complete. That's even shorter than Little Inferno. The final nail in its coffin is the price; $9.99. While it won't exactly burn a hole in your wallet, that's still a lot for a game that can be completed in such a short time (just for reference, other games you can get for $9.99: GTA Vice City, Limbo, Hitman : Blood Money).

Seriously, this game that lasted well over 20 hours is only $9.99, proving that there is a God, and that he loves us.

In conclusion, The Wonderful End of The World isn't a bad game. It's actually a pretty good game; just a rather expensive game for the amount of content it offers. If you are considering getting this game, do what I did and get the developer bundle during a sale. At least then you'll get five games for the price of one. As of now though, $9.99 for a two hour game is simply way too much, and just isn't worth it. 

Even if there is a fantastical candy level, complete with dancing gummy bears.

Lucius (Game Review)

Lucius is a game that's been on my radar for quite some time. Not because I was looking forward to it or anything, but simply because it would always be on sale on Steam for the few weeks leading up to its release. I know a lot of games on Steam offer discounts if you buy it before release date so this is no different from the other, but the game's icon got me curious. It didn't look like another generic first person shooter or an indie survival horror that seems to be cluttering up the market (seriously guys, try something new. Amnesia and Slender were both scary as hell, but after playing the defenseless protagonist stuck in a dark room with an unseen evil for the tenth time, the horror element is gone). It looked like...honestly, I wasn't really sure what it looked like. My stupid brain somehow assumed that it was an Asian kid wearing some weird goggles on his head, and behind him was a white fist, so I assumed this was going to be a weird action/puzzle game or something.

See? His hair is kind of like goggles, and the portion of wall that isn't smeared by blood kind of looks like a fist...no? Just me? Okay then.

So out of curiosity I clicked on the icon to read the overview of the game...and I immediately had to get this game. You play as Lucius, a seemingly innocent boy living with your rich family in a luxurious home. However, you actually serve Lucifer and you have to kill people by making it look like accidents and offer their souls to him. Through these murders you take out the residents of Dante Manor one by one, and each one you kill increases your supernatural abilities. These victims include maids, butlers, teachers, maintenance staff, and ultimately, your own parents.

Oh yea, and you're also born on the 6th of June, 1966. Get it? 666?! Except it's actually 6666...that's an extra 6! That must make him the Super Mega Antichrist! (not really)

So you play as a kid that serves the devil, and you commit murder in exchange for powers. THAT'S AWESOME!!! I'm not a Satanist or anything, but I always enjoy games that lets you play a villain. Most games force you to play as the good guy, and those that claim you can play as either good or bad usually tries too hard to juggle the two opposite concepts and ends up falling flat on their faces. So yea, this isn't a game that you can be bad if you wanted to; this is a game where you have to be bad because you serve the Devil himself, and that's just awesome (the having to be bad part, not serving the Devil part).

You don't see the horned shadow unless you shine a flashlight onto him. It's little details like this that makes this game shine.

So how's the gameplay? It's actually pretty good. You start out with literally nothing. You don't have any powers and most of the rooms you can explore in your giant house are inaccessible, so when it comes to murdering, you're stuck with the simpler methods like locking an old woman in a walk-in freezer and rigging a stove to burst fire into a guy's face by puncturing the gas valve. However, with each death your power grows, and later on you're killing people by setting them on fire with your mind and throwing a blow dryer into a bathtub and electrocuting the person (with your mind, from the next room over).

Or my personal favorite, mind controlling them into committing suicide. Note how the victim's eyes are completely black when under Lucius' power. Like I said above, it's the little details that makes this game shine.

You're not completely free to go on your little murder spree, however. You can't let anyone catch you using your powers or doing anything suspicious (like holding a gun),  or it's instant game over. You do unlock an ability to erase the memories of the person who caught you, but you don't get that til about the halfway point. So until then, be careful of your surroundings and how you act. There's also a cross mounted on several areas of the house. When around these crosses, your satanic powers are nullified. You have to manually flip these crosses over upside down in order to negate their effects on you. Lastly there's McGuffin, a detective that's introduced on the morning following your first murder. He doesn't pose any real threat to you in the game; he's the guy who doesn't think that these deaths are mere accidents, but couldn't find any proof or evidence that suggests otherwise.

Outside of cutscenes, he also provides helpful exposition in the form of journal entries at the start of every new chapter.

All in all, this game is basically a video game of "The Omen" and Lucius is Damien. However, that's not a bad thing. In fact, this game is one of the more fun game I've played in recent memory. It's fun how your power slowly grows over the course of the game, and the game does a great job of creating a suspenseful atmosphere. The music matches what's going on, soft when you're simply walking around the mansion; screeching violins when you're about to kill someone. If there's one flaw in this game, it would be that the deaths are too linear. I understand this is an indie game so it doesn't have as much budget as games like Borderlands and Assassin's Creed, but it would've been fun to see how I could kill people differently in another play through. Hopefully in a sequel if they ever make one.

In conclusion, if you're looking for a game that's new and unique, give Lucius a try. It can be frustrating at times when you get lost in the house (seriously, it's a huge house), but stick with it and you get a fun game with a pretty decent story. And now the most important part of any game; the price. As of now, the game is $25, so it's not as much as a retail game but it's still a bit pricey for an indie game. I personally think it's worth it, but you may think otherwise. If you like killing people in a fun and unique manner, get this game. If you like good stories in games, get this game. If you're looking for another first person action shooter, this game is definitely not for you.

Okay Lucius, I did as I was told. I said your game is good. Can I go now? Lucius? LUCIUS?!?! NOOOOOO!!!!

Burning Video Games (Rant)

Connecticut Town Holds Drive to Collect and Destroy Violent Video Games 

Now before I offend anyone, no. I'm not trying to make jokes about a school shooting. Even I won't stoop that low.

That being said however, this...this is just...WOW this is stupid. We're way past the point of blaming video games for violent crimes; we're now moving up to book burning territory. Seriously, snapping video game discs in half and then incinerating them? Didn't anyone in the room think this was a bit overkill when it was brought up? This is like starting a petition to outlaw baseball because some maniac murdered a child with a baseball bat. It's seriously that level of stupidity. 

Some kid suffered an allergy attack from eating peanut butter? I WILL NOT REST UNTIL EVERY LAST JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER LAYS SHATTERED AT MY FEET!!!!!!!

You know what this really is? It's just another instance of parents denying any responsibility, fault and blame for their own reckless stupidity. "Ooh, all I did was just buy my child the hottest game of the season. How was I supposed to know a game about black op soldiers killing people would be full of violence?"

"Oh if only there were some kind of rating system that companies can place right on the box to let the buyer know beforehand if the game is appropriate for my child or not!"

Parents, take note; destroying video games won't solve anything. You know what will? Actually taking the time to review the games you're buying for them. Don't just blindly buy Call of Duty and Assassin's Creed for your 12-year-old just because it's the most prominently displayed game in the store at the time. Look at the box. If you see something that doesn't sit right with you, don't get it. 

Seriously. Dude's got a gun in one hand and a knife in the other. Does he look like he's about to go on a whimsical adventure with a talking squirrel?

There's also the ESRB Rating you can look out for. The rating system is there for a reason. If you're not comfortable buying your kid a game that's got "Intense Violence" and "Mature Sexual Themes", then don't buy it. It's simple as that. 

There. Now you no longer have an excuse to say "Ooh, I didn't know! It's not my fault!" and go out and do something as stupid as video game burning. I understand these people lost friends and family and that this is probably one way for them to cope with their grief, but seriously...video game burning? Your attempt at cleansing your community ends up making you look like a peasant from the dark ages, terrified of this unknown entity others refer to as "video games".

Also on a side note, why is it so hard for people to accept the fact that some people are just mentally unstable? It's like they always have to blame their actions on music, video games and movies. It's never because the guy was just crazy.

Little Inferno (Game Review)

When I first saw Little Inferno on Steam, I immediately fell in love with it. I'm not sure what it was that lured me to it; it could be the cutesy art style combined with the homey feeling of sitting in front of a warm fireplace as it gently snowed outside...or it could simply be the fact that I love setting things on fire. Either way, this was a game I just had to play. Seriously, just watch the trailer;

What the hell? No, seriously. What the hell? So we've got kids dancing around in front of a fireplace, burning their toys to stave off the cold, and then all hell breaks loose and everything burns to the ground. Did Tim Burton direct this? Anyway, we've got a seemingly innocent game with a nightmarish twist, and it involves burning things. There's no way I'm going to pass this up. 

Now I'm sure at this point everyone's curious; what's the point of this game? Well it's pretty much like the trailer shows; you're a child left alone in front of your Little Inferno Fireplace and you need to burn things to stay warm. There's no time limit or health or anything, and you won't freeze to death if you don't set anything on fire for too long. Nothing like that; it's just a casual game where you order toys from a catalog and then set them ablaze when they arrive. 

The flame effects are simply beautiful.

Each toys have different reactions when set on fire, and when they burn up they give you money so you can buy more toys to burn. You make progress through buying every toy in the catalog as well as making combos, which is just burning specific toys together at once. Buy some toys to burn for cash so you can buy more toys for even more cash to buy even more toys and etc. It sounds repetitive and boring, but the different reactions that each toys have help keep things interesting.

My personal favorite is the Valkyrie Doll. Once you set it on fire, it starts singing and rose petals rain from above. When she burns through and stops singing, roses fall around her. It's one of the more hauntingly beautiful things I've ever seen.

You also get letters from people as you progress through the game, which you can burn as well for some quick cash (the letters, not the people). There's Miss Nancy, the CEO of the Tomorrow Corporation (the company that made the Little Inferno Fireplace), Sugar Plumps, the neighbor girl who asks you for certain items and returns the favor with unique items (which you then set fire to), and the Weather Man, who gives you updates about the outside world (which is usually "It's so coooold!!!"). What's interesting about these letters is how they help establish the tone of the story that the actual game-play is trying to distract you away from. One minute you're setting a can of soda on fire and watching it explode, and the next minute you're reminded that the weather is getting colder and colder and the snow just doesn't seem to be stopping...at which point you shrug and go right back to setting smoke detectors on fire. (The story is actually pretty good, with several shocks and twists. Won't spoil anything here, but it's definitely one of those stories that leaves you thinking about it for a while.)

Keep this coupon. It's really tempting to burn it, but it's the key to the "secret" ending.

Now, while I do love this game, that's not to say that it doesn't have its faults. Its biggest flaw would be the wait time between item deliveries. When you buy a toy from the catalog, it's not immediately added to your inventory. You actually have to wait a bit for it to arrive. The earlier items take anywhere from 5 to 15 seconds, but the later items can take anywhere from 2 to 5 minutes. You do get special tickets to cut down on the delivery time, but the entire thing feels like one of those iPhone games or something ("My Lord! It will take 10 minutes for the barracks to be completed! However, you can complete it instantly if you use 5 Diamonds, available for purchase in the app store in packs of 10, 50 and 100."). Not sure if the game is trying to make some sort of social commentary with that feature, but it does get pretty annoying.  

Unfortunately, a longer wait doesn't necessarily mean the toy is awesome.

 Speaking of social commentary, can you guess what message the game is trying to get across?

No, really. Guess.

And they just repeat that constantly. "Nothing lasts forever!" "There's always an end!" "Enjoy things while you can!". I haven't seen a message this hamfisted since the whole health insurance thing in Saw VI. It's actually not that profound of a message, so I have no idea why they keep bringing it up. I honestly think they brought it up too many times. If they had mentioned it once or twice in the beginning of the game, I would've completely forgotten about it until the end of the game, at which point I'd look back on it and be genuinely impressed while saying something along the lines of, "Oooooooh, that's what she meant." But as the way it is now, it's just repeated so many times that it pretty much sets up and gives away the end of the game long before you reach it. That's unfortunate, since the ending is definitely much better left a surprise. I usually enjoy letters from these NPCs, but whenever they mention how nothing lasts forever, I just had to roll my head back and groan.

Despite these flaws, however, Little Inferno is a genuinely fun experience. There aren't that many games like this out there, and it's just silly fun to kill some time. Obviously it won't hold your attention as long as Skyrim will, but if you've got a quick hour or two to kill, you could do much worse. I would assume the price would be a turn-off for a lot of people ($14.99 for a game you'll most likely complete in a few hours), but if you get it during a sale it's definitely worth it. 

(Actual warning that shows when starting up the game)
WARNING : DO NOT PLAY WITH FIRE. Now let's set your toys on fire, kids! YAAAAY!